Lessons Learned in Year One of Marriage

Saturday marked one year married to my best friend. And while we don't have all the answers and still have loads to learn, there were plenty of lessons learned in year one that no one gave us a heads up on. And since everyone around us seems to be getting married (or close to it), we thought it was worth passing along.

1. The first year was not as difficult as everyone told us it would be.

Heading into marriage, everyone always told us to prepare for our relationship to be challenged in new ways in the first year and that it would probably be the most difficult year together. Sure, we had our share of challenges, but we faced them with the understanding that we'd be confronting them as a team, which I think helped us to easily handle all of the hurdles that came our way.

2. Sharing a bed with a grown man is the biggest struggle of my marriage.

Have you ever tried to share a bed with a 6'6" grown man? I had shared my bed with my cats growing up, but never consistently with another grown adult. Suddenly I have someone stealing my sheets and elbowing me in the head, frequently taking me out of my REM sleep. Some days, I understand why older married couples sleep in separate rooms. Or at least have king sized beds.

3. Saving the top tier of your wedding cake for your 1st anniversary is a waste of freezer space.

It was a constant struggle in our house to squeeze in the many cartons of ice cream around the container holding the top tier of our cake. And speaking from experience, the cake was disgusting. I'm more disappointed that I missed out on the deliciousness that would have been the peanut butter tier of our cake, than I would have been by not having it to enjoy on our first anniversary. A better option: plan to get a small cake or cupcakes from the same bakery on your one year anniversary so you can actually enjoy it.

4. Keeping time with friends is a necessity.

Andy and I make it a priority to spend time with friends, both together and apart. Yes, he is a large part of my life, but I would pull out my hair if I spent all of my free time with him. It's easy to slip into your routine of spending all of your free time together, but no one wants to wake up one morning and realize you're that couple that everyone knows only makes time for each other.